When people ask me why I'm still single...

    So sometimes I wonder if there´s something wrong with me.  The majority of my friends and peers are marrying themselves off, having children, buying houses, settling down.  And here I am, about to turn 30 in a foreign country, single with no assets, with student loans and only earning a stipend.  Am I missing some crucial internal chip that everyone else has? My biological clock is definitely ticking, but my urge to continue traveling, to move on to the next challenge, the next adventure is greater than the call of my ovaries.  Sometimes the idea that I could just continue this vagrant lifestyle indefinitely appeals to me more than making money, paying off debts, or meeting ¨the man of my dreams¨.  I know I´m not alone, that many people feel this way, especially the other travelers I've met along the way. But now with many of them that I thought were kindred spirits a few years ago showing off their engagement rings on Facebook, or going back to their country of origin, I´m left feeling…well, left out.

On Sunday mornings, however, when I wake up and the possibilities are endless with no one to answer to, no children to make breakfast for and I´ve got new places to see and people to meet, I feel downright smug. That doesn´t mean I won´t go to bed that night feeling alone in my queen bed, hugging a pillow just so I’ll have something to squeeze. In all my travels, this is the constant paradox – I´m never more alive, and yet I´m never more alone than when I arrive in a new country.  Maybe loneliness is what it means for me to be alive these days; the bittersweet triumph of spending an entire day without speaking to another human being who knows my name.

The freedom of starting again in a new country allows me to constantly reinvent myself.  In my blank state form, I am nonjudgmental, open-minded, and eager to learn.  I have made some of my best friendships while abroad, being able to connect on a deeper level. After doing away with small talk – where are you from, how long will you be here, conversation quickly changes to what makes us tick, what drives us, the good, the bad and the ugly, all the icky gicky stuff that normally isn´t spoken of.  As an extroverted introvert, these are the conversations that make me feel connected and keep me coming back for more.

I have a dream of being settled one day and possibly starting a family, but for now, that is all it is; a dream. For all my friends and family who are now used to me never being around: thank you for understanding me and loving me whether I am near or far.