It’s been a
long time since I’ve written a blog. Funny, it seems caring for a baby is occupying
all of my free time. Who would have thought?
Honestly though, despite the lack of sleep, despite balancing a full time job
with motherhood, I’m loving it. Augusto and I still can’t quite believe that we
have been parents for more than 6 months now, but somehow, we are managing it,
and not just managing it, but really thriving. A lot of things came together in
a way that has really allowed us to make the best of what could have been a really
stressful time:
1) Augusto runs his own courier
business, which gave him the freedom to decide to give up his mornings to be
with Luca. That way, he can spend
quality time with his son, and he works in the afternoons. He’s also been playing the drums in a cover
band 2 to 3 times a week, and he makes enough money from playing music that it
makes it worthwhile for him to only work part time.
2) We found an awesome nanny. Nolvia
comes in the afternoons and looks after Luca, and double bonus, she cleans! She
and Luca adore each other, and for a while there I was pretty sure Luca
preferred her over both Augusto and I.
3) I live literally around the corner
from my office. This allows me to go
home every lunch hour, and makes the logistics of breast feeding and pumping
much easier. I do, however, often feel
like all I am doing is either pumping or nursing. Luca’s decided that the only way he is happy
to nurse without getting too distracted is in a quiet room lying down in bed,
so working actually gives me a bit of a break from feeling like a milk cow.
4) Augusto is a morning person, and
will get up with Luca to give me a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep in the
mornings. This literally has saved me,
as there are nights when Luca is up every couple of hours all night long, and I
don’t think I could survive if it wasn’t for the fact that Augusto lets me
sleep from 6-8am on weekdays. Often by
the time I go downstairs, my coffee and breakfast is ready and waiting on the
table. My commute of 2 minutes means I get extra sleep and extra time with my
son.
5) Our families have been very
supportive – my sister Sara came all the way from Canada with her (at the time)
17 month old baby to help after Luca was born, and Augusto’s mom and sister
came as well, so there was a good six weeks of help. My family was amazing in helping us out
financially, (if it weren’t for my brother, mom and dad, I may have not been
able to go to a private hospital for Luca’s birth, and I wouldn’t have been
able to afford the trip back home to visit family in July) and Augusto’s family
put together an online baby registry and sent us a huge box full of wonderful
things.
Don’t get
me wrong. There are a lot of challenges
to this new life of ours.
We acutely
feel the absence of grandparents in our lives, and we haven’t been alone just
the two of us since May. Luca goes to
bed around 7pm and it means that after that one or both of us are housebound,
as Nolvia lives quite far away and we haven’t managed to plan far enough ahead
to get her to babysit in the evening yet. We keep saying we are going to do it,
and so far we haven’t.
I haven’t
managed to find time to exercise, I tried joining a gym, and then once I
calculated how much I was basically paying per session, it just wasn’t worth it, as I could never get
there more than twice a week.
C’mon, if
you knew this face was waiting for you at home, would you want to go to the
gym?
We did just
buy a bicycle, which I took for a little spin yesterday. I am absolutely terrified of riding on the
main roads, as even yesterday, a Sunday with very little traffic I felt like I
might have brushed with death at least three times. So there is some logistical
planning involved with riding a bike in this city, but I think my love for bike
riding is deep enough that it might inspire me to get some exercise.
My social
life is pretty limited these days, as I don’t know any other mom’s in my age
group, and I find staying up later than 10pm to be a big challenge. Little by little I’ve been re-entering into
the realm of life outside the walls of my house, and it’s almost like I lost
all my social skills. My lack of sleep
and desire to only talk about Luca means my small talk is pretty limited. Luckily I have friends who can look past my
communication skills and enjoy (or maybe they are just humouring me) hearing
about Luca non-stop.
I feel very blessed to have such a supporting, loving partner and that Luca is such a happy guy – even with a cold you can’t wipe the smile off his face. I can’t even get mad at him when it’s 5 am and he decides it’s time for everyone to start the day (he often ends up in our bed at some point during the night, so his duty to wake us up in the morning is even easier) and starts head butting, sticking fingers up nostrils, kicking, or lovingly smacking our faces until we wake up, he’s just too darn adorable to be mad at. He takes his job of morning wake up very seriously, using all of his energy so that by the time mom and dad are wide awake, he’s ready for his first morning nap. But, he’s a dedicated guy, and he hasn’t missed a day yet.
Being a
mother has me feeling at peace.
Ironically, in a city where I feel the least safe, I feel more at peace
than I ever have in my life. Sunday
mornings when all three of us are in bed, playing and chatting, I feel full –there
is nothing else I need in my life to feel complete.
